My Earliest Memory

This subject is a tough one for me. I have a lot of random “memories” floating around in my mind but I can’t say for sure which is the earliest one. I have a difficult time remembering anything clearly until about first grade. Before that, everything is a muddled mess. I vaguely remember visiting the computer room in kindergarten. I vaguely remember the apartments we lived in, and receiving a soft, plush book from my mother’s friend. I remember my mother discussing what she was going to name my youngest brother.

The first really clear memory I can think of is in first grade and it’s an embarrassing one. While I was a really bratty child, I was also extremely shy so I never wanted to tell the teacher when I had to use the bathroom. When you’re really young, it’s hard to hold it, so one day, I actually peed in my seat. I was wearing a dress so I think it only got my underwear… and my seat.

And we were switching seats that day. I don’t remember what happened after that. I don’t remember if the person who got my seat said anything or if I got in trouble. It’s all blank after that. But I do remember the debilitating anxiety that came with knowing somebody would be sitting where I just peed.

So yep, there’s my gross early memory! What about you? What was your first memory? Feel free to share it in the comments below!

Rachel Aseltine

R.A. Aseltine is an author and roleplayer living in California with her husband, guinea pig, and five cats.

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