Today’s Drama

Well, today was pretty eventful. I got my blood test results back and I have a vitamin D deficiency. That’s not surprising, given how little I go outside. Apparently I also have to watch my cholesterol and take in a little more potassium. WEIRD, since I hardly eat any meat (and rarely red meat) and I eat a lot of bananas and melons. But, the important part here is that I don’t have any hormonal deficiencies so… there’s no medical reason for why I’m the way I am. Uh-oh.

A few minutes after I made it back home, my sister arrived to pick up my brother. We went out for a little while so she could teach me to drive. We went out to a pretty big and empty parking lot and I basically drove in circles and parked. I did pretty good when it came to parking. I still have a lot to learn when it comes to driving, though. I’m not skilled at multi-tasking so driving is actually pretty stressful for me! I’m sure when I pick up the skills, it’ll be much easier for me, though. I’m actually pretty thrilled and excited about the prospect of getting my own car and being able to go wherever I want whenever I want.

When we got back from the driving test, my sister and I checked out a few more houses out here but nothing really caught my eye. And then I heard the telltale cry of a young kitten. I’d know that sound anywhere since we’ve fostered two litters of kittens here in the past. Sure as hell, there was a small kitten about 5-6 weeks old and she was all alone near the corner of our front yard. Two men in a white work truck jumped into their truck and drove off, which led us to believe the jerks left the kitten there in our yard on purpose!

She was an adorable kitten, though!

Luckily, Jason is pretty good friends with a man out here who works with dogs. Recently, he’s expanded to kittens and since he already had a litter of kittens, he took her. I’m sure the little kitten will be much happier with other kittens. She seemed pretty lonely without her family, poor thing. I’m just glad we found somebody to take her because it’s not that easy to get people to take kittens–even as cute as they are.

I know I haven’t been writing much about, well, writing lately but that’s because I’ve hit a pretty big bump in my life. That’s why I’m learning to drive and I’m signing up for college classes for the summer. Hopefully these things will jumpstart my creativity as well!

Vacation Extended

…And coming to a close now. Yep. When I got home from my vacation up to Northern California, I got a call from my best friend. She wanted me to come down and finally see where she had moved ages ago. Grover Beach is a very nice and relaxed community nestled between a number of much busier beach-side communities (like Pismo and Morro Bay). I’ll be leaving back for Taft tomorrow afternoon but I’m going to miss the weather and the gorgeous sites of this place.

As I vacation, however, I realize that I really have changed a lot in just the last five years. There was a time where I never would have taken as many risks as I’ve been taking lately. None of this even sounds risky to others–going out to Northern California, coming out to Grover Beach. They’re all normal things. For me? Not the case. It’s been tough for me to go out and do the things people take for granted. Taking long trips made me anxious because I worried about all the things that could go wrong. What if we crashed? What if somebody got sick? What if we took a wrong turn somewhere? I didn’t want to be trapped and so I freaked out and built things up in my head.

My past self would have built these things up to epic proportions until I had a meltdown and then actually MADE myself sick! That’s how bad it was. There were days when I didn’t even want to leave the house, to go out across the street. I had to force myself to even walk to the mailbox some days because I was so terrified of what might be out there. What if somebody drove by and saw me? What if I locked myself out of the house? What if a scary big dog came launching itself at me?

Now… I know all these things are ridiculous and I knew that back then, too. But I couldn’t control my levels of anxiety. These days, I’ve been more chill, managing not to think too much about the would be scenarios and instead making myself focus on what’s happening NOW. Not later. Just now.

I think it’s also opening up a lot regarding my writing. There have been so many more ideas flowing through my head. I’m no longer stuck in the teenager fan fiction stage I was trapped in for so long. I really hope to be able to share all these ideas soon, in the form of short stories and novels alike!